Cheers!

Happy New Year!  I don't know about you, but this has been a big year in our family.  When recalling the high point of 2010, Chris and I simultaneously proclaimed, Henry!  This decade has been ridiculously packed with life-changing events.  Some highlights between 2000 and 2010:

• graduated high school
• attended NYU for a year before transferring to Cornell (where I met some of my absolute best friends)
• met the love of my life
• graduated from college
• married the love of my life
• moved across the country (opposite coast)
• gave birth to a daughter
• bought a house
• gave birth to a son

Here's to a year in which I am fully present and in the moment more often.  Here's to adventures as a family of four.  Cheers!

Food allergies: the next chapter

After seventeen months on a gluten-free diet (and limited eggs and yeast), I met with my doctor for the results of an IgG/ IgA antibody retest.  These antibodies are thought to be associted with Delayed-Onset Hypersenstivity Reactions (not anaphylactic reactions like throat swelling or difficulty breathing).  Recently, I've noticed that some of my old symptoms have been returning and I was discouraged, so I sought answers. 

There was not-so-great news:  new foods to eliminate.  I need to exclude whey (which, to seriously exclude includes basically all dairy and almost any packaged food) and corn (it's everywhere!) from my diet for six weeks.  I also need to be more dilligent about excluding egg whites and yolks in all forms-- even in baked goods. 

After six weeks, beginning with the food causing the lowest reaction, corn, I can try a small amount of each food one at a time to pose a "challenge."  If the symptoms return after a particular food, I need to eliminate it for a much longer period of time.  In the meantime, I continue taking probiotics and eating a whole-food diet to allow my body to heal.  Currently, I am eliminating dairy (because of the whey), corn, eggs, asparagus, oyster, and gluten.  Bananas, cranberries, and pineapples are borderline foods I will probably avoid but I don't need to completely eliminate them for now.

There was a silver lining, however.  This re-test showed that my reaction to gluten in all forms was either non-existant or very low!  I am so surprised; after the first six months without gluten, I tried a small amount and became very sick.  The new results give reason to hope that I can successfully introduce some gluten in the future.  I still need to wait until my body has healed and is symptom-free before adding gluten (hopefully after eliminating the newly reactive foods for about six weeks). 

Whether or not gluten is back on the menu, I can say that I will continue to eat foods as close to their original source as possible.  Crackers, breads, and pastas are simply not going to provide good nutritional foundations.  Still, I am hopeful that there will be a day when I can order a meal right off the menu at any restaurant or prepare a dish exactly the way I remember it from childhood on rare occassions.

Snapshot: Winter makes another appearance

And so it begins

Now that Henry is mobile and able to pull up to a standing position, Evelyn is showing more interest in playing with him.  Though some of their interactions still revolve around Evelyn swiping a toy from Henry and proclaiming that it isn't safe for "baby Henry," she spends a fair amount of time talking to Henry or handing him "approved" toys.  When Henry's little legs grow tired, he looks up at us and fusses until we help him up so that he can keep playing.  It's sweet to see the kids together.  

Snapshot: A new skill

Hey, they teach dishwashing in Montessori schools.  I was just trying to think of a new activity to thwart the pre-bedtime whining, but let's call this a learning moment. 

Mama Cooks: A (mostly) Local, Vegan, and Organic Christmas Meal

Merry Christmas!  Our family had a lovely holiday together-- and plenty of fun, thanks to Evelyn and Henry.  We spent Christmas day at our house with some of our family members who made the long trek to be together.  We went to a "standing room only" Christmas Eve Mass at our church and made a taco buffet that night.  The meal met our three requirements:  gluten-free friendly, vegetarian-friendly, and meat-eater friendly.

Our Christmas menu this year was largely based on our CSA share for the week and it added an element of creativity to the hours we spent in the kitchen preparing our meal.  What, exactly, was on the menu?  (Everything organic)

• Free-range turkey
• Rainbow garlic smashed potatoes
• Large yams
• Baby bok choy
• Rainbow carrots
• Ranbow swiss chard
• Green beans
• Gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free, corn-free vegan stuffing (recipe below!)
• Gluten-free baguette (from Wheatless in Seattle)
• Butternut squash
• Whipped turnips
• Apple Pie

First, we sautee the vegetables for the stuffing.

Evelyn helps scoop out the seeds and pulp as we prepare butternut squash.

The stuffing is done!

Baby bok choy, fresh from the farm-- it was delicious.

The only non-vegan dish at our table was, of course, the turkey!

Stuffing Recipe (adapted from Sunny Valley):

2 rainbow carrots, chopped

1 stalk of celery, chopped

3/4's onion, chopped

small handful of fresh mushrooms, diced

2 cups vegan broth (gluten-free)

Sunny Valley Wheat Free bread crumbs

Sautee onions, carrots, celery, and mushrooms until soft.  Add dry bread crumbs and toss (1-2 minutes).  Add two cups of boiling vegan broth or cream soup.  Toss and mix until desired moistness is achieved. Pour into glass baking dish and cover with foil.  Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes.  Serve immediately for best results and enjoy!

Henry says "no, thank you"

We offered some homemade organic carrots (silky smooth and mixed with a bit of breastmilk to thin the carrots and add a familiar taste).

"Whoa!  This is nothing like Mama-milk."

He did appreciate the spoon.  Henry has been grabbing at our utensils for weeks.  It is great fun to slobber on and taste new objects, as long as it isn't a new food!  We'll offer a little something again in a couple of days but there isn't any rush.  Henry is getting all of the nutrition he needs through nursing and, if he is anything like his sister,  he'll continue to get the bulk of his calories from my milk for at least another year.  

Six and a half months old

As much as I'd like to keep my sweet Henry swaddled in a soft blanket and asleep in my arms, he seems intent on growing up and reaching new milestones almost daily.  It is a treat, though, to see the shine of satisfaction in his big blue eyes when he achieves what he set out to do.  Now, in addition to scooting around the house like an inch-worm, Henry regularly gets onto his hands and knees and sometimes his hands and feet.  He has also recently learned to pull himself up to a semi-standing position-- though he is still very wobbly on his feet.

Henry, like Evelyn before him, sleeps next to me in bed at night.  We have a little co-sleeper (a bassinet-like bed that is attached to our King-sized bed) that he used for at least part of the night (usually the first block of time he'd sleep) until he was about three months old.  He sleeps better if he is snuggled next to my body, so I didn't worry about encouraging him to stay in the co-sleeper longer.  Still, I have been putting an already-asleep Henry into the co-sleeper for naps or sometimes while I dress in the morning.  Those days, however, are over.  Here is Henry, in all of his glory:

Snapshot: A Babywearing Dad

My little marrionette

Today, we took the kids on a much-anticpated outing.  Evelyn had a chance to try ice skating and she loved it!  For the past two months, Evelyn has been asking to skate.  We have a couple of books that involve skate boards, roller skates, and ice skates and Evelyn likes to pretend to "skate" in her slippery socks (or standing on two sheets of paper) on the hardwood floors.

Evelyn was beside herself at the thought of lacing up actual skates.  Little did we know, the skate rentals were single (rather than the easier to balance double) blades and the smallest size available was about three sizes too big.  Oh well, we're an easy going family-- for the most part-- and we made it work!  I was surprised that Evelyn enjoyed herself as much as she did, as we mostly held her up by the hands or underarms while her feet slipped wildly beneath her in a sort of jig.  I felt a bit like a puppeteer.  Still, it was a lot of fun for her and I'm thankful that, after such anticipation, the experience was positive.  I'm sure that as she develops her gross motor skills and her coordination, she will have many years of successful ice skating ahead of her!

The Greatest gift

In one week, we celebrate Christmas.  For me, Christmas entails fragrant incense, a community gathered together, beautiful music, and precious time with some of our family.  We'll cook a nice meal and splurge on wine and rich desserts.  There will be prayer and laughter and (hopefully) some rest.  I am looking forward to all of this.  Still, I've been thinking a lot about the gifts we will place beneath and around the tree.

Gift-giving is a big part of our celebration.  We are finished with our Christmas shopping and I am so excited to see Evelyn's reaction.  Henry will be happy to be in the arms of someone who loves him (or on the ground, crawling toward wrapping paper).  I'm not worried about what to give him this year!  Evelyn, though, will have a lot to say.  She is very expressive, often exclaiming "Oh, I would love to do that!" or "No thank you, Mama.  I don't like that!" 

Throughout my own childhood I didn't get everything I ever asked for-- and I didn't expect to receive it.  Half the fun of creating a wish list is the element of surprise, I think.  I'd come up with a long list of ideas and, somehow, my Mom knew which items I wanted or needed the most.  I have been trying to think of a favorite Christmas gift.  Certainly, there are a couple of large stand-out gifts.  One year, I received a nineteenth century dresser (I'd had my eye on it at a local antique dealer's shop).  Another year, my Mom gave me a hope chest.  Looking back though, I think the best gift I received was not something that I used every day.

My favorite Christmas gift is a hard cover, three volumes in one, Anne of Green Gables book.  This is not my favorite book, but I treasure it because of the way it makes me feel.  I received this book in 1994 and I clearly remember where we were when I pointed it out to my mother.  My siblings and I were with my Mom in her college book store.  You see, she attended college after the four of us were born, and after she and my father were divorced.  Needless to say, a single mother of four children isn't exactly rolling in money.  When I asked for the book that summer, I knew it was likely that my Mom would say "no."  She did, but she also said she would keep it in mind for the future.

Weeks and months went by and I forgot all about it until Christmas morning, when I unwrapped Anne of Green Gables.  On the inside cover, my mother wrote the year alongside "Merry Christmas!  Love, Mom and Dad" but I know she chose this gift on her own.  My mother remembered that I had liked the looks of this hefty book.  I felt so loved and so heard-- an important feeling for one of four children, especially during the stressful days of divorce and working parents.  It is this sense of a treasured feeling that I hope to capture in my own gift-giving as a mother.

Henry is on the move

I can do it!

Belly flop!

Well, hi!

Nothing is safe.  Henry is on the move and getting faster every day. 

Mama cooks: Curried coconut squash stew

Let's get it out in the open:  curry is not very photogenic.  Under the right circumstances, however, it is quite tasty.  I adapted a gluten-free vegan recipe (again from Susan O'Brien) based on our available produce-- acorn squash instead of butternut and a green pepper instead of red.  It turned out very well, if I do say so myself. 

Ingredients:

2 tablespoon olive oil (I used grapeseed)
1 cup finely chopped red onion
1 teaspoon diced fresh ginger
1 large red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1 pound extra firm silken tofu, cubed
3 cloves garlic, chopped finely
1 ½ cups peeled, seeded and cubed butternut or delicate squash
1 tablespoon seeded and finely chopped jalepeno (again, I omitted this. I'm still working up the courage!)
2 teaspoon mild curry powder (I used red curry paste)
1 cup hemp or soy milk (I used almond)
1 cup light coconut milk
1 teaspoon fresh lime juice
1/4 -1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 teaspoon coarse kosher salt
Freshly ground pepper


In a large Dutch oven or stockpot, heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil over medium heat and sauté the onion until soft, 4-5 minutes. Add the ginger, bell pepper, tofu, garlic, squash and jalepeno and continue to sauté until the squash is fork tender, about 15 min.* Add the curry powder and the hemp and coconut milks, and heat to a boil. Lower the heat to medium-low and cook until flavors are blended, about 5-10 minutes. Add the lime juice, cilantro, salt and pepper to taste, and serve. 

*  I sliced the acorn squash in half, scooped out the seeds and strings and baked it for about thirty minutes at 450 degrees.  I then added the chopped up, cooked squash to the pot.  My reasoning?  I didn't have two hands available for a long enough period of time to peel and chop through raw squash and it was much easier to scoop out the cooked squash and quickly cut it up!  Most of this meal was prepared with Henry in my left arm.

Snapshot: Father and son

Christmas lights

This evening, Evelyn took an incredibly poorly-timed nap.  When she woke, the world was a miserable place and she was out of sorts.  Luckily, Chris had made it home from work by then.  He rocked Henry to sleep and tried to have a little dinner while I convinced a hysterical Evelyn to put on her coat and boots.  Here is one of the best parenting tips I've ever received:  go outside.  Is the baby crying in the middle of the night and you've already tried everything?  Go outside.  Is the toddler having a tantrum?  Pick her up and take her outside.

Fresh air does wonders.  I don't care if it is cold or pouring rain.  Sometimes just a few moments outside can act as a reset button of sorts.  This makes good sense, actually.  When I am completely on edge and the anxiety creeps up to an uncomfortably high level, I often use little sensory tricks like stepping outside for a few deep breaths or running cool water over my wrists and hands.  Suffice it to say, both Evelyn and I needed to get outside tonight.  She stopped crying as soon as I pulled her up onto my back for a piggyback ride.

I took in some cool night air and we headed down the street to look at the Christmas lights around the neighborhood.  When I was younger, I remember driving with my parents and enjoying the twinkling lights adorning each house on the block.  This was a fun spin on this tradition.  Our on-foot version was so much better!  Granted, it was about forty degrees here so we weren't freezing.  After about fifteen minutes, we returned home.  We were both in better moods.

Half-birthday

Henry is six months old!  Our sweet, curious, smiley boy has already hit the half-way mark to one year and I can't believe it.  What is new in the wee world of Henry?  He is scooting and inch-worm crawling all over the place.  When Henry sees a toy or an object that he finds appealing, he makes a beeline to it and he is incredibly persistent.  This boy is very goal-oriented!  Henry loves to held, especially by me.  He loves to say "Ga! and Dadadada!"  If Evelyn pays attention to him, Henry's grin is absolutely priceless.  He just adores his big sister-- unless she decides to smother him, in which case he is rescued by Mama.

In terms of size, Henry is a testament to the fact that no two babies (even related ones) are exactly alike.  He weighs sixteen pounds, four ounces (putting him in the 25-50th% on the WHO chart) and he is twenty-five and a half inches long (25th%).  His sweet (still sparsely covered) head is at the 50th%.  To compare, Evelyn was slightly bigger than Henry when she was four months old.  At six months, Evelyn was nineteen and a half pounds and twenty-eight inches long (97th% and above).  Interestingly, at six months, Henry's and Evelyn's head measurements were exactly the same.  Both babies were babbling and beginning to crawl and sit alone at the same rate, though.  So, it appears that I have early movers and shakers regardless of their size!

I've said it before

I was just reading through various blogs and opinion articles on parenting.  If you're thinking "Is she trying to stress herself out?" you might not be off-base.  There is certainly a wide spectrum of beliefs and "truths." Last January, I wrote a post that is still relevant for my life right now.  So, instead of re-writing it today, I'll send you there ("You're doing it wrong!").

And, if you're interested in being sucked into a time vortex (in a pleasant way, I promise), check out the Natural Parents Network.  I've found some really well-articulated ideas about Attachment Parenting.

Snapshot: Henry learns to sit

Mama cooks: it's a regular thing now!

Tofu Chili

Nursing and chopping vegetables (and taking a photo).

Cooking is quickly becoming a rather enjoyable-- and tasty-- activity for me.  If it's old hat for you, I hope you'll humor me if I express undue enthusiasm.  And remember, when I cook I am still an attached Mama who tries to meet the needs of two small children.

I do try to prepare some of the ingredients here and there when I find a couple of seconds.  For instance, if it's about 4:00 and I find my hands (miraculously) are free, I might pull out whatever pot or pan or glass bowl I think I'll need for dinner.  If Henry is napping, I encourage Evelyn to play with her dollhouse or work on an art project (or, if I am desperate, I put on a Sesame Street Counting DVD ) and I am able to do the bulk of the preparation and cooking.  When I have more time, I am more likely to attempt a dish that requires more than three ingredients.  Lately, I've been living on the wild side.  Onions, green peppers, garlic, chili paste. . . they all made it into my meals.

In fact, speaking of ingredients, would you have thought to include carrots in your chili?  This was a new concept for me, I usually add corn when making a chili.  I found a delicious, protein-packed, chili in The Gluten-Free Vegan (Susan O'Brien) and the carrots did pleasantly surprise.

"Tofu Chili"

Ingredients:
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 large onion, chopped
1 cup chopped green bell pepper
2 cloves garlic, chopped
2 large carrots, chopped
1 pound extra-firm tofu, cubed
 2 (15-ounce) cans beans (1 can each black and red kidney)  I used two cans of red kidney beans.
1 (28-ounce) can diced or chopped tomatoes
1 tablespoon chile powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
salt and pepper

Saute the onion, pepper, garlic, and carrots in the oil, in a deep skillet or dutch oven, over medium-high heat.   Once the onion becomes soft, 4 to 5 minutes, add the tofu and continue to saute for 8 to 10 minutes. Add the beans, tomatoes, chile powder, and red pepper flakes (I'll admit that I was too chicken to add the red pepper flakes).  Bring this mixture to a boil, then lower the heat and cook for 30 to 40 minutes, until cooked through.  Season to taste with salt and pepper.  You could serve this with cornbread (I often make a gluten-free cornbread from a Bob's Red Mill mix, but I served this with corn tortilla chips instead). 

Enjoy!

Hungry hands

Today was a perfect example of the pendulous nature of parenthood.  The day went from good to bad to too much and then, miraculously, landed at an even-tempered peaceful.  This morning, I noticed that my sweet husband had tidied up the kitchen and dishes.  Evelyn had already used the potty (I'll get to this) and was dressed.  It was a very nice way to wake up.  Unfortunately, the morning became a bit chaotic as we realized that Chris was (again) getting out the door later than we had intended.  I completely missed my physical therapy appointment because we didn't have child care.  Essentially, this meant that I felt awful for missing the appointment and my neck and shoulders were in pretty bad shape.  As for the too much part of the day?  Well, both children have been glued to me since Monday afternoon.  The lack of personal space-- or even ten minutes to breath, to drink water, to think-- bubbled over by this afternoon.  I wasn't sure how much more I could handle without a break.

Henry is getting over a cold and he's not quite himself.  He's been crying whenever I set him down or step away.  He just needs extra closeness right now, so I wore him in the Ergo carrier for a good part of the day-- though he did not care for my chopping an onion to make dinner tonight.  I set him down for that; he didn't appreciate being on the floor either.  Evelyn is on day three of being diaper-free.  She's doing quite well, but she does occasionally become so engrossed in a project (or so cranky and over-tired, as was the case yesterday), that she forgets about going to the potty.  My job as her mother is to be supportive and provide guidance in developmentally appropriate ways-- this means that when Evelyn is ready to ditch the diapers, I am ready with her.  I just had no idea how hard it would be to be completely in tune with both children and somehow be prepared to drop whatever it is I was doing (sorry, Henry) when Evelyn needed help in the bathroom.

I think we're all just making it through the day, parents.  Sometimes, we move purposefully and with ease.  Sometimes we reach a point where the only option seems to be surrendering to the chaos, the beautiful chaos of life.  As I buckled the kids into the car this afternoon, I uttered a small prayer.  I needed a little mercy, or maybe pity.  I needed some breathing room.  After stopping for a latte and a short drive by the horse pastures, both kids were asleep.  Henry didn't stay asleep, but Evelyn slept for two whole hours.  When she woke up, Henry took a little nap.  I could handle one child at a time, especially one happy and well-rested child.  Evelyn and I made dinner together.

This evening, the day got much better.  It felt good to make a tasty meal for my family.  Evelyn did some art projects-- she is particularly interested in gluing right now.  I took care of two loads of laundry.  Henry and I played with the wooden activity cube, which- by the way- demonstrated how clever he is.  He realized that he could follow the green spiral wire all the way around the top of the cube and he motioned that he wanted to push the wooden beads along the spiral.  I helped him "walk" around to accomplish this task and he looked pleased. 

We finished the day at church.  Today is the feast of the Immaculate Conception; we don't ordinarily attend Mass on weekdays.  As it turned out, spending an hour at church was exactly what I needed.  Whether or not you are religious, there is something irreplaceable to be gained when standing in a room filled with people, each one reaching out to grasp the hand of a stranger.  I offered my hands, my desire and my need to step outside of myself and exist in a larger context-- one not defined by post-partum depression or stress or exhaustion.  And so, I found myself praying again, with Henry asleep on my chest and Evelyn bouncing around Chris' legs.  This time, though, it was a prayer of thanks.

Warm

"I want a house that will keep me warm."  Evelyn has been saying this when she plays pretend.  It's a line from Shel Silvertein's book, The Giving Tree.  I explained that we have a house to keep us warm and dry.  It's a place just for our family.  We can invite friends over.  We can play, dance, and read books.  Evelyn loves talking about our house (and as we walk through the neighborhood, she likes to point to other houses and tell me that they belong to "someone else"), so we've certainly talked about the concept of a home before.  Evelyn persisted though, "no, Mama.  I want a house that will keep me warm!  Can you give me a house?"

I realized that she expected me to respond as the tree had-- offering materials to build a house.  As I was in the middle of making my bed, I offered our huge down comforter.  Evelyn adores playing with this blanket.  She crawled inside and then poked her head out, proclaiming "this is my very own house!"  Her words, and the sweet innocence of her imitative and pretend play, made me think about all of the children who don't know the warmth of their very own home, or a home at all.  Last year, we decided to sponsor the Christmas wish list of a little boy living in foster care.  We will continue to give in various ways throughout the year, but I'd like to include Evelyn-- in an age-appropriate manner-- this year.  I am still working out the details, but I know she understands the concept of helping another person.

Snapshot: Trooper Evelyn

Learning to cook ONE meal

In our family, we have a few challenges when it comes to meal times.  I need to eat foods that are gluten-free, yeast-free, and egg-free and my husband is a vegetarian.  Our daughter is nearly two and half.  While she is willing to at least try an array of foods, she is happiest when we stick with foods she is most familiar with:  chicken, tofu, broccoli, cheeses, yogurt, gluten-free bread, nut butters, and rice.  It can be tricky to come up with just one meal for dinner.  It has been even more difficult, however, to prepare two or three meals for dinner and I've decided that a multi-meal operation is just too stressful.

Pad Thai (before I poured it over the rice noodles).

So far, I've tried two recipes that fit our needs and they've both turned out quite well!  One of my favorite take-out treats is Pad Thai, so I was eager to attempt this dish.  The recipe I used is from The Gluten Free Vegan by Susan O'Brien.  The second recipe was actually a more surprising success.  I made yam and black bean burritos.  Here is the recipe:

"J&J's Favorite Yam and Black Bean Burritos"
Ingredients:
2 large yams
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 cup chopped onion
2 tablespoons seeded and chopped red bell pepper (roasted, if you like)
1 small jalapeno, diced (I omitted this because I didn't have any on hand)
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 cup seeded and diced tomato
1 cup tomato salsa
1 teaspoon chile powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 (15-ounce) can organic black beans, drained and rinsed
2/3 cup chopped fresh cilantro
2 tablespoons lime juice
1/2 teaspoon salt (coarse kosher)
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
8 rice or hemp tortillas
guacamole (optional)

I baked the yams in the oven at 450 degrees for about 45 minutes, but I think they would have been fine after even 30 minutes.  While the yams bake, heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and saute the onion in the olive oil until soft, 3 to 4 minutes.  Add the red bell pepper and jalapeno, and continue sauteing for another 3 to 4 minutes, or until the pepper becomes soft.  (I found that 3 minutes was plenty of time).  Add the garlic and cook for 1 minute.  Peel the yams, cut into cubes, and add to the vegetable mixture.  Add the tomatoes, salsa, spices, black beans, cilantro and lime juice.  Heath through.  Season with plenty of freshly ground pepper and coarse kosher salt.  Heat the tortillas and fill with the mixture.  I used soft corn tortillas instead of rice ones, though my husband didn't care for them so I'll likely use rice tortillas next time.  I served this with rice.

Snapshot: Learning about Advent and Christmas

Little breaths and feathery wings

After hearing that I have two small children, women (whose children are now young adults) often say to me that they wish they could go back to the days of babies and toddlers.  Even though they were tired and overwhelmed and sometimes forgot very simple things like where on earth the car keys might be, they wish they had taken time to slow down and enjoy their babies more. 

On the one hand, I think these women probably had many wonderful and loving moments with their children, but on the other, I wonder if the rosy fog of time has clouded their memories!  I don't know of a way to slow down while caring for a baby and a toddler.  I truly believe that mothers do the best they can with what they have.  Still, I really value this piece of advice and I do try to remember the little moments, the small pauses in our days together-- because these days are not my own.  These days truly are our days. 

My children and I are sort of a package deal at this point; how could I not know by heart all of the beautifully silly dances Evelyn likes to do and the slobbery raspberries Henry blows with his pink baby lips?  I spend my nights next to a sweet baby boy, whose milky exhalations are the very personification of satisfied sleep.  My lively daughter took great delight this evening in shrugging her shoulders while we danced to music in the family room.  She flapped her arms like wings and exclaimed "look, Mama!  I'm a bird!  Tweet, tweet!"  What else could I do?  I joined her in flight.    

Finish line

Whew.  Today marks the last day of National Blog Posting Month.  I think that I technically missed one day (because I posted a couple of hours early one night), but I am considering this month a success.  Taking the time out to post something daily has largely been a positive experience.  Sometimes, I didn't have much to say and so I shared a cute photo.  At other times, I had an incredible heap of emotionally-loaded thoughts and not much time to sort them out-- and so I shared a cute photo or a tidbit about my life as a mother of young children.  Still, there are moments when I have collected my thoughts and I am able to write something of substance.  Those are my favorite moments.  Thank you for reading (and commenting).  There is certainly more to come!

Gluten-free, vegan, and delicious

Courtesy of Flying Apron Bakery

Success! (It was bound to happen sometime)

This evening, as we were sitting down to dinner and talking a bit about our days, my husband made an observation.  He said, "it sounds like you had a rock star day."  And, if I think about it, he is right!  Sure, I am exhausted, but the house looks pretty good-- beds are made, even.  We had Toddler Group this morning, so we were all up and out of the house at the start of the day.  Henry didn't cry at all in the car.  We had a lovely-- relatively calm-- morning of play.  I got both kids down for their afternoon naps and Henry also went down for his evening nap in his bassinet.  I polished off a number of other household tasks, too.  I also managed to finish making dinner before Chris got home.  I made breakfast for dinner, at Evelyn's request.

Evelyn doesn't often make meal requests because she would rather live off of snacks she's not much of an eater at meal times.  She enjoyed about three bites of her eggs and a pinch of cheddar cheese before declaring that she needed to use Daddy's work computer in the office.  When this plan didn't pan out, she decided to get out her doctor kit.  We corralled her back to the table.  After dinner, we all played "toss."  In our house, it's not really a game of "catch" since Evelyn is currently most interested in tossing the ball.  She has renamed the game to reflect this.  Who knows what the rest of the night has in store for us, but our "work day" went as well as it could have.

Snapshot: Hoppin' Henry

A friend lent us her jumperoo for Henry.  He had a lot of fun bouncing and looking at the objects.  It was a nice break from the floor.  Of course, as I write, Henry is army-crawling across the family room!

Oh, food allergies. . .

I've written a bit about food allergies a while ago, and it seems the time has come to pay closer attention to them once more.  I have successfully and strictly avoided gluten (wheat, spelt, rye, barley, and any food item containing gluten) since June 2009.  At that same time, I learned that I needed to eliminate several other foods as well:  yeast, eggs, oysters, and asparagus.  My doctor was hopeful that I could re-introduce these foods (and possibly the gluten, though that did not prove to be the case).  The reintroduction worked just fine for yeast and somewhat fine for eggs, so long as they were in a baked good and not straight from the skillet.

Unfortunately, the plethora of delicious baked goods (yeast and eggs) that seem to accompany cooler weather and holiday tables is testing my limit.  I think I need to re-eliminate or drastically reduce my exposure to these allergens.  So, the big challenge is back-- what to eat for breakfast?  Gluten-free breads still contain yeast and eggs.  That basically leaves yogurt and gluten-free oatmeal-- though I am not an oatmeal girl.  Any suggestions?  Maybe I'll learn to use quinoa and fruit for breakfast.

Snapshot: Update, tights work just fine!

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!  Our little pilgrim helped cook our holiday meal (and our gluten-free chocolate cake and frosting, too)!   It was a long day for Evelyn since much of our attention was directed at food preparation and cleaning (and Henry), but she did well and took a late nap.  We called all of our parents and even had a video chat with my Mom and Stepdad.  Today was a lovely, relaxed day.

We are thankful for chocolate cake!

Balance

As a mother, I find that I tend to invest in relationships and activities that I think will be most beneficial to my children and my whole family.  Because my children are important to me, I also tend to be pretty choosy about these relationships and activities.  For our family, an Attachment Parenting group, a neighborhood Mom's Network, and a Toddler Group Co-op have made the cut.

Lately, Evelyn has become enamored by the concept of "home."  She is proud of our house and she loves to recognize the landmarks nearby:  "Here is the farm!"  "This is our street."  "I see our house"  "That's my house!"  She enjoys playing at home or having a friend come over to play.  She loves playing outside with neighbors.  At least half of the time I ask, Evelyn prefers staying at home to going out.  I am choosing to honor her need to be at home.  She creates entire worlds, complete with casts of characters.  She builds cities, draws abstract art, plays trains, and helps cook.

For his part, Henry is happy to be along for the ride, as long as it isn't a car ride.  He is scooting himself around and learning to "army crawl."  Henry loves to be held, to be nursed, and to have an object to feel (or taste, as the case may be).  So, given the needs of my children, we stay home a lot.  If we do go out, we keep the car rides short.

I am realizing, though, that I need to get out more.  It's important to remember that balance is good for every member of the family-- even the parents.  No, this doesn't mean I drag my children out for a forty minute car ride on a whim.  It does mean that I make it a priority to go out to dinner with my husband or to the book store by myself or maybe even to meet a friend for coffee.  Yes, the children are only this little once.  I don't want to take away from my time with them, but I also don't want to be a burned-out lady on auto-pilot.  I want to be fully present and fully myself, and that means putting Mama on the list.

Snow day means it's time to play!

What do you think?

I have a style conundrum.  Evelyn's rain boots finally cracked, literally, under the pressure of almost daily wear for one year.  Now, call me an idealist but I hoped that her boots would remain in wearable condition until she outgrew them.  Unfortunately, it seems that they were designed to be adorable and reasonably functional but they were just no match for my adventurous toddler.  I decided to order a new pair of boots, this time from the same company that made the snow boots I bought for Evelyn.  The construction is wonderful and the reviews are consistently high.  

Evelyn chose yellow boots (though I was hoping she'd pick the hot pink or bright red ones because they looked pretty fun).  It occurred to me that Evelyn does not go tromping off into barnyard muck or nature trails by herself.  I am always with her, tip-toeing around the puddles in my ballet flats-- or if I am feeling especially prepared, my hiking boots.  I ordered a pair of rain boots for myself.  Now, I can't decide whether or not to keep the boots.  They're comfortable, but I am not sure if I will actually wear them.  Why wouldn't I wear them?  Well, I had imagined that my jeans would fit nicely inside the boots, so as to keep them dry while we traipse over soggy grass and mushy downed-trees.  Unfortunately (or fortunately?), the boots were designed to fit snugly at the top-- probably to seal out moisture.  Chris suggested that I roll my pants a bit to keep them dry, but I am not convinced that this method won't leave me looking a bit ridiculous.  What do you do (if you are apt to take walks in wet conditions or through the woods)? 

  

On an unrelated note, Henry happily posed for the camera this evening before forgetting all about the photo shoot in favor of studying his hand.   

Snapshot: Boots

To be fair, I did tell Evelyn to put on boots before going to play in the snow.

Roll it up, pass it down!

 

We saw a few snowflakes this morning, and even now there is a silent but steady trickle of fresh flakes.  Evelyn was very excited to see "winter" and she wanted to get her snow gear.  Since we have to drive into the mountains to visit real snow, we only used her extra warm apparel once last year.  I purchased it in a size that I knew (or I hoped) would fit this year as well.  Fortunately, I was right and everything still fits!  She could even grow a few inches and fit nicely into the snow pants and coat.  For Henry's part, he wore the super soft Columbia baby fleece suit that Evelyn was given as a baby.  He was nice and warm and he has plenty of room to grow in it!

Snapshot: Happy brother

Beautiful Pregnancy

I remember the first time I read the words stretch marks and beautiful in the same sentence, it was during my first reading of Ina May Gaskin's book Spiritual Midwifery. She said something that gave me pause. I'll have to quote from memory, as I've lent my copy to my dear (beautifully pregnant) sister: "I know of no fool-proof way to prevent stretch marks and I find them beautiful" (emphasis mine). Many of us have heard the lamentations of our mothers, sisters, friends, and our own voices as we disparage the marks left on our bodies after pregnancy (or any period of fast development). The notion that these marks could possibly be signs of strength or beauty feels a bit revolutionary in light of our self-conscious and image-obsessed culture. Still, I think it is such a healthy idea. I think we should embrace it and talk about it and hand it off to our daughters.

During my first pregnancy I came across a website called The Shape of a Mother. To be honest, I was a little shocked initially. I'd never seen such raw and honest images of women. It inspired me to take pride in the strength and ability of my body to carry a healthy pregnancy and actively bring forth life. The proudest moments in my life are also the times I felt completely in tune with my body and absolutely comfortable in my own skin. I wish more women were encouraged to revel in their strength and see their beauty in light of what their bodies can do and have done rather than the harsh lights of a fitting room at the local mall.

Undermined by an infant

Lately, Evelyn has been into rough-housing after dinner. She likes to try to get a rise out of me and her current method is to throw her little (and compact) body directly toward my face. It doesn't feel great. I lose the smile pretty quickly and tell her she needs to cease immediately. It's pretty hard for Evelyn to take me seriously when I ask her to stop jumping onto me while I hold Henry because, even as I use a stern voice, the little guy giggles and squeals. Apparently, he likes to laugh in the face of danger.

Yes, it's clear that Henry is an adoring younger sibling-- at least for now.

Snapshot: Evelyn at about five months

I found a photo of Evelyn when she was Henry's age. Besides the fact that she had quite a bit more hair, I think Evelyn and Henry look alike as babies. It will be interesting to see if the trend continues as they grow up. My siblings and I look alike. As children, one of my sisters and I were occasionally mistaken for twins. We certainly are not identical at this point, but it is obvious that we are related.

WWBD?

I don't know about you, but sometimes-- especially on a cloudy, damp afternoon-- I wonder how the kids and I will all make it happily to dinner time. The crankiness creeps in and I realize that I will need to resort to some kind of trickery. Will we put in a movie (maybe)? Will we head out to the library (if Henry is awake)? Sometimes, I ask myself: what would a babysitter do? I'm not talking about a teen who plops the kiddos in front of the TV with some cookies, though sometimes this feels like a good option! I am thinking of the high quality babysitter I used to be in school, the one who had energy and plenty of creative ideas.

A few of our "WWBD?" inspired activities have been fairly simple, but they yield great results (smiles, giggles, and increased energy all around).

1. Chase. This game is definitely a classic and it's exactly what it sounds like. I hold Henry and slowly trot behind Evelyn as she runs and giggles and says "chase me!" Repeat about ten times. Henry likes this one, too!
2. Dance party. I turn on the "Oldies" station on our cable or Reggae or something of similar tempo and we boogie.
   
3. Snack. This probably seems like a no-brainer, but sometimes we all just need a little protein and sugar combination. Grapes, carrots, apples and peanut butter are our favorites lately.
4. Arts and crafts. I cut out shapes or magazine pictures for Evelyn to glue onto construction paper. While doing this, I usually wear Henry in the moby wrap and sway and sing to him to keep him happy. Then, while Evelyn colors or paints, I play with Henry or nurse him to sleep.
5. Dress up. I find some of my flowy tops and toss them onto Evelyn. She pretends to be all manner of creatures.

Really though, the true secret to this "WWBD?" quick boost of energy is to tell myself that I get a total break at the end of the "work day." This is not technically true. There is no end to the "work day." Still, on trying days, I get out of the house in the evening when my husband comes home. Even an hour away can do wonders!

Snapshot: A strong princess

Snapshot: Five months old

Henry is five months old now. He's been doing better in his car seat this week. Wouldn't it be great if that trend continued?

What am I?

Aristotle said that "we are what we repeatedly do." If I consider this literally for a moment, I am strong hands, holding onto a baby. I am a voracious reader. I am a grocery-shopper extraordinaire. I am words. I am "I love you, Evelyn" and "I love you, Henry." I am also "Just a minute!" I am many prayers-- some desperate and whispered through tears.

I am a dispenser of advice, mostly of the solicited variety. I am a sister through phone calls and messages and-- on certain blessed occasions-- in person. As much as possible, I am a friend. I am a partner, equally yolked in marriage. I am nourishment for my children. I am absolutely a mother. I mother all day and all night long and, even if I burn the candle at both ends until I am standing in a pool of wax, I am grateful.

I agree with Aristotle-- and let's not forget the rest of his often-quoted words: "Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." One misstep won't cause the downfall of my children. I am not doing anything perfectly, but if I am habitually trying my best, I think I am standing on firm ground.

Family outing

Today, we spent several hours out and about with my Dad and Stepmom. Evelyn and Henry both did amazingly well-- even taking a nice nap (while Daddy munched kettle corn and worked on his phone) in the van for about an hour. We perused some shops and found a gorgeous mirror for the house.

Here are a few fun moments:







Riding in a caboose



"Hi, Ducks!"



Handsome gentlemen at the cafe