Starting Solids

 I've wanted to write about introducing solid food to babies for quite some time.  It is exciting for parents to offer a first taste of solid food to their babies.  The adorable expressions that undoubtedly ensue are priceless.  What this?  Carrots!  Oh my!  Still, I don't advocate rushing into solids.  I knew that my babies were getting all of the nutrition that they needed from breast milk.  Of course there are instances in which a particular mother may be advised to begin solids early due to a baby's low vitamin or nutrient levels and, as I am not a medical professional, I'm not arguing with that.

Here, I am speaking to the practice of shoveling rice cereal or sweet potato into the mouth of baby who isn't yet sitting alone or picking up pieces of food with his fingers-- these are key signs that a baby is ready to eat solid food. There are old myths that babies will sleep better if given solid food and they've been debunked.  In fact, babies that wake at night are at lower risk for SIDS.  (Part of what makes sleep sharing safe is that babies spend less time in a state of deep sleep than babies who sleep alone-- but, I digress. . . .)  One reason a baby who has been given solids such as cereal at an early age (a few months, for instance) might seem to sleep longer is that the baby's body needs to work much harder to digest the food.  A baby's digestive system was designed for breast milk.

Have you recently asked yourself: "When should my baby start solids?"  Well, here you go!  Some *solid* advice, courtesy of La Leche League International (see link above):

Breastfed babies do not need to have complementary food introduced until about the middle of the first year. Before that time, you will notice some signs that your baby is changing developmentally, in preparation for beginning solids in a few months. You will notice that:

• he becomes more sociable, playing and holding "conversations" with you during a nursing session
• he has a growth spurt and nurses more frequently for a while
• he imitates the chewing motions you make whilst eating -- he is practicing!

You will know that he is really ready to start solids when:

• he is about six months old
• he can sit up without any support
• he continues to be hungry despite more frequent nursing which is unrelated to illness or teething
• he has lost the tongue-thrusting reflex and does not push solids out of his mouth
• he can pick up things with his finger and thumb (pincer grasp)

Babies who are ready for solids can usually feed themselves. Mothers often report that they knew their babies were ready when they picked up food from a plate, chewed it, swallowed it, and wanted more.
Listen to your baby! Babies with a tendency to allergies may refuse solids until later in their first year. As long as they are growing well and are happy and healthy, there is no need for concern.

Other resources I like:

Developmental Readiness


Waiting is worth it
 

6 Reasons to delay introducing solid food

To PT or not to PT? A little unsolicited advice.

I couldn't think of a better title; let's blame it on fatigue, shall we? I've been a fervent supporter of chiropractic care at various points in my pregnancies and I certainly don't regret that care now. Nevertheless, I have been seeing a fabulous physical therapist once a week for the past six weeks and whenever I leave her office my shoulders and neck actually feel normal. This is huge, given that I am carrying a baby and hoisting a toddler throughout the day. I think I will be sticking with PT (and perhaps an occasional massage-- I can dream!) for the time being.

I would highly recommend massage to every nursing mother. Make it a priority. Side-lying nursing is a sanity-saver in the middle of the night, but assuming this position almost every night for over two years has wreaked havoc on my shoulder and neck. I wish it had occurred to me to try out PT when Evelyn was a baby. Though the sessions are an hour long, much longer than the fifteen minute chiropractic adjustments, I've found that babies are usually welcome and the relief is worth the hassle!

It's a relationship

Evelyn and I had a few conversations this week about nursing and weaning and she conveyed to me-- using words and phrases so thoughtful and sincere it was all I could do to keep from interrupting her to shower her with kisses-- that she is not ready to be completely finished with nursing. She would still like to nurse once in the afternoon. This sounded very reasonable to me and so for about four days, we've done just that.

Quick public service announcement: Nursing beyond infancy-- and nursing as long as is mutually desired by Mother and child-- is a natural occurrence and it should be unremarkable (fact sheet here) It is not very common (publicly) in the U.S. right now, but it has long been a part of the human experience. It is not developmentally stunting, sexual, gross, etc etc. It is simply a normal and natural part of motherhood and childhood.

Take a breath

This past weekend was both energizing and exhausting. With Henry wrapped in a sling, I attended the La Leche League of Washington Area Conference. It was a three day conference, though I didn't participate on Friday as Evelyn wouldn't have had anywhere to go! There were some wonderful speakers and some very thought-provoking discussions and questions among attendees. There was a great range of topics which included lactation, nutrition, parenting, and partner relationships; I think I got a good taste of each one, though there were so many sessions that I couldn't possibly attend everything that piqued by interest. I'll share a favorite new resource.

Patty Wipfler, of Hand in Hand Parenting, gave a wonderful talk about parenting by connection. I wasn't familiar with her organization before this talk but I am so glad to have learned about it. A couple of the concepts that seem poised to be the most controversial among parents (which I will mention here, because controversy seems to stir discussion and interest) include a strict "no-tickle" policy and the general premis of parenting by connection: focus on maintaing a connection with your child, not on controlling behavior! I happen to enthusiastically support both of concepts and so it was great to hear my views so well-articulated and to hear about the experience-based research behind them.

Briefly, the idea behind having a "no-tickle" household isn't to say that parents shouldn't nuzzle into their child's little neck and give kisses or blow raspberries on their child's tummy as long as the child enjoys it. The idea really is that tickling is a cheap thrill of sorts. It forces laughter out of the child, even is the child is grumpy or upset about something. A tickle almost always brings with it laughter-- which pleases the parent-- and the child will learn to accept "forced" (and I do realize it is with good intentions) prolonged or even rough tickling in order to see her parent smiling and laughing if this doesn't often happen at other times of the day. There are so many more creative ways to induce laughter that give the child some power and some choice in the matter. Giggling and chasing a toddler and saying "I have tickles for you!" is a great option in our house. Evelyn asks to be tickled in certain places (her armpits, or her legs) and I gently oblige but her favorite activity when it comes to "tickling" type fun is when I pretend to nibble her up for dinner. I pause every few moments to make sure she is still enjoying it (rather than trying to make her laugh until she feels helpless and can't breathe or has a stomach ache).

The basic idea behind Hand in Hand Parenting though, is that if children are going to thrive, they need to feel really connected to the person taking care of them. This means that adults offer warmth, repsect, eye contact, and good listening. The child, in turn, responds with trust, cooperation, and respect (in age appropriate ways obviously). The child relies on her limbic system to a great degree and before she is even capable of expressing herself, she can tell and sense who we are as people. Thinking follows this non-verbal "feeling" and when a child is feeling connected she will show better reasoning, planning, impulse control, and short-term memory.

So, if your child (or mine!) isn't listening to you or is acting up, the idea is that we need to first reestablish that connection with the child in order to repair the irrational thinking. We need to move close, stop the off-track behavior without even saying (or yelling) "stop it!" and we need to listen. Wipfler encouraged parents to see crying and tantrums (and even seemingly defiant laughter) as part of the healing process. Children are offloading the upset and then they are ready to connect and use their prefrontal cortex for actual logical thought (again, in age appropriate ways). This was all very interesting to me and it was so helpful to frame Evelyn's behavior within this model of thinking. When I use the techniques (focusing on staying connected or reconnecting as needed) that Hand in Hand encourages, Evelyn really responds much faster and I think that both of us feel better. I won't turn this post into a novella, but I could go on and on with some fascinating ideas and some "playlistening games" to help deal with specific issues that a child might be dealing with (separation anxiety, power issues, wondering if she is still loved after a new sibling has arrived). I'll save my wonderful experiences hearing from Naomi Aldort (!) for another day.

The things you do for love

Goodbye dairy-- at least for a couple of weeks. Henry is mostly a happy, smiling boy but, several times each day (and seemingly out of the blue sometimes) he cries and has a high-pitched scream to his cry that sounds like he is in pain. I brought him in to see our Naturopath today and Henry's physical exam was great. He is in excellent health and he smiled away at the doctor and kicked his legs happily on the baby scale (thirteen pounds, fourteen ounces!). Still, based on what seems like episodes of painful crying and a few other considerations, we agreed that I should take a break from dairy and begin drinking a special tea a couple of times per day. Dairy is not actually a huge part of my diet, but it is a bummer to eliminate another food group. I am already gluten-free, and I do find that yogurt and cheese are often my quick snacks.

There is an herbalist within a couple of blocks of our doctor's office, and it was a gorgeous morning, so I wore Henry in the Ergo and pushed Evelyn in the stroller. Henry fussed almost the entire time because I think he just wanted to take his nap and he didn't appreciate the loud rush of trucks and cars on the street and the bright sun that kept getting into his eyes no matter how I adjusted the Ergo's hood. It was still a lovely walk. Evelyn was pretty happy to be out and about and she was even happier when she spotted a sleepy dog inside the herbalist's shop. We waited a few minutes for my blend of loose leaves and then repeated the walk (Henry fussy, Evelyn happy but walking slowly as I carried Henry and pushed an empty stroller).

I've never made tea in a large batch before, and I've not used loose leaves either, but I think I managed to get it right. The idea is that Henry will receive a small amount of the herbs through breastmilk. The herbs are all very common and safe and have either anti-spasmodic or anti-gas effects. There is also a little catnip and chamomile to aid in relaxation. Who knows? Maybe the tea will be a nice, relaxing treat for me too. First, I need to add a heaping helping of honey, though, as I do not enjoy the taste or aroma of fennel.

Misinformation: nursing

I overheard a couple of mamas chatting today and I really wanted to meander over to interrupt the conversation. I didn't interrupt though, as my coming over to gently correct the misinformation being spewed would have giving away the fact that I was clearly eavesdropping. One of the women swore that popping her newborn off of the breast after five minutes or so was absolutely adequate and she highly recommended it to another new mom. This might work out fine for her as every woman's body is unique. Certainly, as time goes on and the baby grows and is able to nurse more quickly and efficiently, five or ten minutes might be plenty of time. Still, I think that it is dangerous to suggest that mothers place time limits on nursing while breastmilk comprises the majority (or the entirety) of the baby's diet.

Another major consideration is the foremilk and hindmilk balance. If baby only nurses for a few minutes, he might be missing out on the hindmilk. If the baby wants to continue the feeding beyond the first five minutes, by all means, let him! Babies are incredibly adept at eating when they're hungry. I wish every mother would do her own research when it comes to breastfeeding. If we all had accurate information, we might see many more positive nursing experiences.

Nursing: photographic evidence

As parents, we take pictures of our children at birth and during their first baths. We run for the digital camera to capture our child's first smile, and later, his first steps. I love looking back at the video and photos we have of our children and I know we will treasure these things even more when our "babies" are grown up. For the past two years and two months (and counting), I have been a nursing mother. Why not take photos of this most natural, healthy, and beautiful aspect of motherhood, babyhood, and childhood? And, for that matter, why not share these photos?

No need to hide

Before Evelyn was born, I knew that I would breastfeed. In fact, I knew that I would nurse my baby until she was ready to wean and I hoped to make it at least to the two year mark, as recommended by the World Health Organization. I also knew that unless we hid inside the house all day, I would nurse in public. She is a summer baby, so although I tried a nursing cover once or twice, it was clear from her sweaty little head that it was jut too hot to essentially put her inside a "tent" while she ate. The backseat of the car was much to stuffy to sit and nurse without the engine-- and air conditioning-- running. So I stopped trying to hide and by the time Evelyn was 6 weeks old, I finally realized that 99% of the time, no one batted an eyelash when we nursed in public. I didn't use nursing covers or blankets (unless, as Evelyn got older, she was too distracted by her surroundings to nurse).

We live in a pretty baby-friendly and nursing-friendly part of the country. Nevertheless, the few times that someone has offered to help me "make myself more comfortable" while nursing, I inevitably felt uncomfortable. Good intentions can result in mixed messages. When Evelyn was two months old, for instance, I was shopping in an upscale kitchen store for a gift. She became fussy and I looked for a place to nurse. I wasn't yet fluent in the language of nursing while walking around with my babe in a sling. A sweet saleswoman offered the chair in the test kitchen and I settled in and nursed my daughter. I remember smiling to myself and thinking that this was such a great shop, very baby-friendly, when suddenly I felt a damp cloth on my shoulder. The saleswoman had returned with a dishtowel so that I could "make myself more comfortable." Far from comfortable, I was grossed out by the towel and I felt slightly self-conscious. I was really too shocked to respond with anything more than a forced smile.

Evelyn is now 23 1/2 months old and we have nursed on a ferry, on airplanes, and in terminals. We've nursed in backseats of cars and on the grass at the playground. Cafes, restaurants, ice cream shops, movie theaters, Church, office buildings . . . if she was hungry or needed special comfort because she was hurt or tired or just wanted some comfort, I did what I hope any mother would do. I responded in a loving way. I nursed my little girl.

Now that Henry is here, I am again spending much of time with a babe at the breast. I am more confident this time around and I try to keep things in perspective. I am well aware that the world does not revolve around me. When I walk out the door in the morning, I don't expect neighbors or passers by to stop and gawk at me-- an occasional friendly smile or a "good morning" is much more likely. This is generally the case when I am out in public with my children. I don't expect to be confronted about nursing. I go about my day. I mother my babies.

Lactogenesis II: let's talk about nursing!

It sounds like a thrilling science fiction movie, but really Lactogenesis II is once again at the center of my days (and nights). One of the many benefits of extending breastfeeding is that I had plenty of colostrum and even a little milk before Henry was born. As was the case when Evelyn was a newborn, my body is making a ton of milk. Henry is a very satisfied newborn and my body is left with copious amounts of milk after each nursing session. This milk production will self-regulate soon. It often regulates quite a bit within a matter of days, but based on past experience, I expect it to take up to a couple of weeks.

This time around, I know that I shouldn't pump to empty the breast after the baby has had his fill as that just signals my body to continue making such large amounts of milk (and therefore, the engorgement continues for a much longer period of time). I have pumped a couple of times just to bring a little relief, but only for about two minutes. My freezer already has a few little bags of breast milk tucked in the back. I'm looking forward to the "maintenance" stage of milk supply, as it's just more comfortable but I have to say that I am so grateful and amazed that our bodies are designed to sustain our little ones. I was so proud when I looked at Evelyn, plump and healthy at six months when all of her nutrition came from me-- and even at a year when the majority of her calories were still from breast milk. Now, as Evelyn says, "it's Henry's turn to Mama-nurse!"

Simple ways to support a new mother

Do you have a new mother in your life?

1. Do not expect an audience with the new mother and baby duo right away. Feel free to drop off a meal, but be understanding if New Daddy greets you at the door and says that the duo is resting.

2. If you are very close to the new mother (ie: family, close friends), take care of daily tasks so that New Mama and New Baby can snuggle up together, nurse, and get to know each other in comfort. These chores include meal preparation, basic household cleaning, laundry, and possibly cleaning a litter box or filling a water dish. The one "non-newborn" task I would leave to the mother is bathing. Please offer her the time to shower or take a nice bath (especially if it is a Sitz herbal bath!)

3. Support New Mama as she and New Baby learn to nurse. (*This is especially important for partners or very close family members who will be spending a lot of time with the new mother and baby) If you are unfamiliar with breastfeeding or if you're just a bit rusty, do some light reading and familiarize yourself with local resources. The early days (and sometimes weeks) of breastfeeding can pose some challenges. This is not the time for passive aggressive "jokes," criticism, or comments about how "easy" it would be offer the baby a bottle of artificial formula-- actually, I'd like to suggest that there is never a good time for any of these things! And, while we're on the topic, please do not pressure New Mama to pump her milk and then hand New Baby over to you for a feeding. Again, the early weeks are precious and mother and baby need to bond and establish a good nursing relationship. Once they have it down, it will be smooth sailing-- nothing to sterilize, nothing to mix, and always the perfect temperature.

4. Encourage New Mama to drink plenty of water. Offer her some nutritious snacks. Labor is a marathon and she will need to replenish her body.

5. Admire that beautiful new baby! Ooh and aah over the tiny hands and precious little toes.

6. If New Mama would like to nap, by all means, help make it happen (use the opportunity to cuddle up with the little one and be prepared to bring him to his mother if he starts "rooting around" for milk).

And let's not leave out the little "icing on the cake" gestures:

7. Put clean, warm sheets on her bed.

8. Bring a bouquet of her favorite flavors to set next her rocker or on the table.

9. Offer to care for New Baby in a few months when things have settled down so that New Mama and New Daddy can go out! (My Mother-In-Law wins the prize for having flown cross-country to visit for a long weekend when Evelyn was about four months old. We were finally ready to step out for a company party. We didn't trust anyone but family and we didn't have any family in the area!)

10. Know that tears are a normal part of the postpartum experience, but gently speak up if you notice that New Mama exhibits signs of PPD.