Today, Evelyn sat on the bathroom counter as I applied make-up. For the first time, I allowed her to go through my rather sizable make-up bag. She pulled out the blush brush and pretended to put it on her cheeks. She held the eyelash curler up to (but several inches away from) her eyes. How on earth did she know what to do with each of these tools?
Our cars (seven) outnumber our baby dolls (two), we play with balls and blocks and books. We never wanted Evie to feel as though her actions needed to be boxed into a pink category of appropriate play. Of course she enjoys pushing a little baby stroller, but so do the little boys we play with-- it is fun to push something that is your size. And yet, the gender stereotype stronghold in our home has always been the bathroom mirror. From birth, Evie has been aware of my morning routine. That means she has always known that I use a hair dryer and flat iron or curling iron each morning and then I open a pretty bag and extract magical brushes and mascara wands. She watches as I paint my face, cover the parts I deem imperfect, as I "enhance" each part of my face. Every day. At first, I was adamant that Evie not watch. I didn't want to her to grow up thinking that she, too, would need to cover up and curl and spray in order to face the day. But at some point, maybe when she could crawl (about six months), she insisted on staying nearby. Babies like to know where their mothers are. She'd play with toys on the floor while I completed my daily ritual.
In all honesty, I haven't left the house without make-up since I first discovered mascara in middle school. My eyelashes are very light and I always felt more confident with a little definition. Now, aside from aesthetics, the thing I love most about this ritual of "remaking" myself, is the mindless rhythm. I know exactly what to do, I know the order. I don't have to think about household worries. I can let my mind wander; I daydream. It's my time. And so, I don't have any plans to drastically alter this morning routine. But, in the interest of the self-esteem of my daughter, I think I will spend more time letting her catch me with a book or with my journal, and perhaps a little less time in front of the mirror.
