Happy Birthday, Henry!

One year ago, the sweetest little boy came into this world.

Beautiful Pregnancy

I remember the first time I read the words stretch marks and beautiful in the same sentence, it was during my first reading of Ina May Gaskin's book Spiritual Midwifery. She said something that gave me pause. I'll have to quote from memory, as I've lent my copy to my dear (beautifully pregnant) sister: "I know of no fool-proof way to prevent stretch marks and I find them beautiful" (emphasis mine). Many of us have heard the lamentations of our mothers, sisters, friends, and our own voices as we disparage the marks left on our bodies after pregnancy (or any period of fast development). The notion that these marks could possibly be signs of strength or beauty feels a bit revolutionary in light of our self-conscious and image-obsessed culture. Still, I think it is such a healthy idea. I think we should embrace it and talk about it and hand it off to our daughters.

During my first pregnancy I came across a website called The Shape of a Mother. To be honest, I was a little shocked initially. I'd never seen such raw and honest images of women. It inspired me to take pride in the strength and ability of my body to carry a healthy pregnancy and actively bring forth life. The proudest moments in my life are also the times I felt completely in tune with my body and absolutely comfortable in my own skin. I wish more women were encouraged to revel in their strength and see their beauty in light of what their bodies can do and have done rather than the harsh lights of a fitting room at the local mall.

With my own two hands

Henry is here! He was born safe and sound at home and I was able to help catch him and pick him up immediately. Henry is exactly nine pounds and twenty-one inches long. He is slightly heavier than Evelyn was, but the same length. Labor and birth were absolutely beautiful and perfect-- less than half of the time I spent laboring with Evelyn. It was still very hard work, but I felt great after his birth and didn't have any complications at all.

From start to finish (start meaning that contractions are still pretty manageable and 10 minutes apart), I had a twelve hour labor. Evelyn went to stay with a friend at about 1:00pm, after she had a nice nap. I think that my body was holding off until I knew that Evelyn was safe and secure with our friends so I could focus completely on labor. Things didn't shift into "high gear" (two to three minutes apart, much stronger) until about 3:00pm. Our doula came over to our house at that point and our midwife and her assistant joined us somewhere close to 5:00pm. Henry was born at 6:00pm. He latched on right away and is content to nurse or sleep next to Mama while swaddled in a soft blanket.

Evelyn came back to join us about two and a half hours later and she was very excited to meet her baby brother. She exclaimed, "Oh! It's Henry! He's out of Mama's belly. It's my baby brother!" Chris took some excellent video of Evelyn remarking over Henry's eyes, nose, mouth, chin, ears, blanket, and "tiny little hat." I helped Evelyn hold her brother. She was very excited about him and had a hard time leaving our bedroom, but Chris settled her to sleep pretty quickly.



Speaking of sleep, Henry is asleep right now and Chris has taken Evelyn out for a "big sister trip" (she has a lot of energy and is still learning about body awareness near the newborn, so we thought a little break would be nice). I think I'll try to sleep a bit, too.

The Post in Which I Stumble Over My Words Because I Care About the Topic



Evelyn Kate, brand new

If I put this post off any longer with the hope that some day I will have time to construct a coherent paragraph, let alone a paper, it won't happen.  So, here goes.  There are many, and I mean many, well-written articles and well-researched studies about the safety and superiority of natural childbirth.  I'm writing about my own experiences.

Working with one's body to allow it to do what it is meant to do, to function as it ought is the norm.  In daily life, barring emergencies (and I know that emergencies do happen, and when they occur I am thankful for highly-trained doctors and surgeons), we don't drug ourselves or otherwise interfere with our bodily functions.  Birth is a normal part of life.  In the vast majority of cases, birth is not a medical crisis and it should not handled as though it is.  The bottom line is that when a birth is perceived (from the very beginning of pregnancy up until labor) as a medical event, the anxiety and the anticipation of a stressful and even dangerous delivery interfere with the way a woman's body is meant to work.  Fear causes the body to seize up, to become tense.  It can completely and utterly slow or even stop labor.  Then comes the pitocin, triggering unnaturally strong contractions, causing extra stress to the baby and unnecessary pain to the woman.  When this crazy unnatural pitocin pain comes along, an epidural is often close behind.  Unfortunately, epidurals, by their very nature, render the laboring woman numb to know her body's cues and labor often slows down, increasing the overall length of labor and stress on the baby.  Lack of progress is one of the major reasons cited for unplanned Cesarean births.  

This is my long-winded way of introducing the fact that pain during labor is pain with a distinct purpose.  People ask (I know I asked!):  does it hurt?  And here my answer: Yes, but. . . unlike breaking a bone or pulling a tooth, labor (which certainly differs between women) is intense but it is normal.  A woman in labor can work with the intensity of each contraction to find new positions, often moving in such a way as to allow more room for the baby to come down.  The pain also informs a laboring woman when to spontaneously bear down or begin to push, instead of waiting until a nurse you barely know tells you that you are now "allowed" to push.  This spontaneous pushing decreases the risk of tearing.   

I had a lot of pain during labor.  I will not mince words here.  But I absolutely believe that it was because I had a natural birth that my daughter and I recovered as quickly and as well as we did.  (And it was because of my choice of birth setting-- out of hospital, with a highly skilled midwife, and because of my birth support-- my husband and doula and Bradley classes, that I had a natural birth).  Because I was aware of the position of my baby (Occiput Posterior) my midwife and I were able to work patiently with my body and use effective positioning.  I was unencumbered by electronic fetal monitoring.  Instead, my midwife checked fetal tones periodically with a water-proof doppler, meaning that I was free to walk around, to take a shower and use the Jacuzzi for a bit of pain relief during contractions.  We had a rough delivery, which I won't detail now, but after a long pushing phase (two hours) my baby, who had a been a little stuck, was born.  She didn't cry, or take a nice breath, right away, so she had a little oxygen and some suctioning (from the familiar resting space of her Mama) and she pinked right up.  We went home five hours later, exhausted but healthy.  None of this is to say that "I did it and so you should too!" but to say that the experience of birth is one to think about and prepare for.  If women aren't in charge of their bodies, their birthing, someone else will take on that responsibility and he or she may have ulterior motives, ie: money, quick births so as to allow the next patient in, etc. . . .  Instead, I guess that I am writing as a reminder that birth is by and large a normal, natural, and beautiful part of life.  And, no matter how a baby is born, that baby is precious!