Evelyn has been missing her nap at least every other day; this means that she has been literally melting down almost every afternoon. She cries and cries and tells me she is sad and just wants to be held or carried and I still have a four-month-old baby needing to nurse and cuddle frequently. Inconsolable meltdowns are especially hard to take when I am doing everything in my power to keep myself together right now. I'm kind of at a loss here, which is frightening really. I have a wonderful and supportive husband, a good naturopathic doctor, a great counselor, and some very lovely friends and I still can't seem to keep my head above water for a solid twenty-four hour period.
There is a saying that is often recited in OB-GYN and midwife offices: "speak up when you're feeling down," but what can anyone really do to help? Logically, I know that this is the "hopeless" feeling that comes along with postpartum depression, but emotionally it truly seems like all the help in the world won't, well, help. I'm in the process of trying to secure a helper for nap times and afternoons since those are the hardest times of the day, but the few people I know well enough to really trust are occupied during those times.
I'm trying my best.
This is so hard. :( I wish there was an obvious solution that I could tell you, but there really isn't. From my own experience, this is the hardest part. Does it help to get out of the house with Evelyn in the afternoons? You are always welcome to come over here to visit if it might help to keep her occupied and happier. Also, if you need a break, I can watch your babies for you -- any time that you need. I'm busy, but not too busy to help.
ReplyDeleteThat's really tough. It sounds like one of the best things you could do now is to get that afternoon help asap. I don't think there's anything wrong with hiring a teenager short-term while you're searching for that perfect person for a long-term position. He/she would be in the house while you're there, so you wouldn't have to worry about how they are handling things. You'd know and be able to intervene if needed.
ReplyDeleteJust a thought - what if you kept Evelyn busy doing something fun during the traditional nap/melt-down hours, then skipped nap and put her to bed early? We'd be happy to help you test that out at the park, our house, etc.
Your best is good enough. I'm always available to talk if you need it. We'd also be happy to try and help wear Evelyn out so much in the morning that she has no choice but to have a nap.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lori. A temporary person while you search for the right one sounds like a good idea.
Big hugs. Seems we are going through many of the same things right now. If you want to chat, just let me know!
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