
Yes, please
Thank you!
Bless you!
Excuse me, pass through? Thank you!
At twenty-one months, Evelyn has been using these phrases consistently for several months now. I suspect it is safe to say that she understands the basic premise of manners. I don't think that it has been difficult to "get" Evelyn to use kind words and learn to ask for something or respond to a situation nicely primarily because I don't agree with the whole concept of training a child to do XYZ. For instance, I don't think that offering a tangible reward for good manners (or good behavior, for that matter) truly teaches the child to do anything other than learn to perform for a certain treat (sticker, dessert, etc).
I'm not saying that I've never given treats or rewards-- I just don't link them to a specific behavior. Children (well, people in general) learn through experience and modeling. Chris and I have been saying "please," "thank you," and "bless you" to Evelyn since she was a newborn and we (usually) use these words with each other daily as well. It's so interesting to watch the little lights go on in Evelyn's mind as her comprehension and communication develop. I'm amazed by the (sometimes thoughtful, sometimes very silly) things that come out of her mouth!
*More on unconditional parenting here.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts!