Cheers!

2011 was a wonderful year for our family.  We didn't have any babies this year and we didn't move.  It was relatively calm; we really settled in as a family of four.  We had great visits from family members and we flew to the East Coast twice to see family as well.  The beginning of 2011 was rough for me personally-- and by extension, it probably wasn't always easy for my supportive husband.  I was at times swept under water by post-partum depression and anxiety.  I reflected on my experience just a few days ago as I did a few simple household tasks before heading out the door with kids.  We were all awake, dressed, fed, and I had the energy to empty the dishwasher and fold some laundry and still leave the house.  If this sounds like a piece of cake to you, thank your lucky stars.  I did.
 
I stopped and smiled to myself and thought-- I must really be better.  The healing process for me was such a gradual one that it seemed I'd always feel exhausted and drained.  I was terrified that I would forever feel uncomfortable in my own skin, like a lioness pacing in a small cage.  As a competetive, educated woman, it is still difficult for me to admit that I needed help here and there.  I strive for perfection and yet, I can vividly recall tears streaming down my face as our post-partum doula helped calm one crying child while I had the other (sleeping) child.  I needed another woman to help me mother my children for a couple of hours and I felt that I had failed in all of the ways that matter. 

The truth is, though, I was giving my children my best.  Finding ways to support myself and making Lindsey, not just Mama, a priority helped me push through the thick of PPD and anxiety.  It is still important to take time away, whether it's book club once a month-- which has been just fabulous-- or an hour in the evening out by myself.  It's true that I haven't slept for more than three or four hours at time in over three and a half years, but I feel much more in tune with myself.  This year, we're making it a priority for my husband to get away now and then too (and more time for the two of us as well)!  Happy New Year to you!

Girl Time

Yesterday, I had the chance to do something I've been wanting to do for a while.  Evelyn and I had a girls' afternoon out.  Henry and Daddy spent some time together at Home Depot and played before nap time.  In the meantime, Evelyn and I went to a pottery studio.  I love painting pottery and I have been waiting for the moment when Evelyn would have both the interest and the patience to join me.  She chose a little gift-shaped box with a lid to paint while I painted a light switch face plate for her bedroom.  It was especially fun to be creative with a preschooler without worrying about the clean-up! 

After painting, we walked together beneath a big umbrella and did a little shopping.  We shared some snacks and just enjoyed each other's company.  I recently had a conversation with a friend and questioned whether or not Evelyn and I could even have fun together anymore.  Three-and-a-half can be a tough age at times and our recent travels and holiday plans put a bit of a wrench in some of our routines.  It was wonderful to just enjoy my daughter's giggles and listen (without distraction) to her ideas and stories.  What a nice reset!

Snapshot: Choo choo!

Evelyn needed a little chair to reach her project on the kitchen counter.  Henry thought she was playing one of their favorite games:  line up the chairs and drive a train/ bus/ car/ airplane.  While she glued, he "chugged" and "choo-chooed."

Merry Christmas, 2011

Merry Christmas!  In light of our recent trip to the East Coast for Thanksgiving, we rather enjoyed a low-key Christmas this year.  We went to Christmas Eve Mass and then had a nice dinner at home and let the kids each open a gift (matching pajamas) before bath time.  The kids were so excited that they had a hard time winding down and I don't think either one fell asleep before 10:00.  It's a good thing that Santa was able to assemble and arrange gifts in just about two hours, because he (we) sure were tired!  Fortunately, we all slept in until about 8:30 to make up for it.

Thanks to Xbox Kinnect, we were able to video chat with a large part of my family and we plan to video chat with more family members in the next day or two as well.  I love that the kids can sing and dance and show off their gifts to grandparents on the opposite side of the country!  Evelyn was originally a little disapointed that there wasn't a door to open on her Advent calendar for Christmas, I think it is safe to say that she has officially moved on.  We don't focus much on gifts before Christmas morning in our home.  Gifts don't slowly pile around our tree-- we keep them hidden away for the most part until the big morning.  It was so sweet to hear the "Wow!" from Evelyn (and then from Henry) and see their eyes light up.  I think they were pretty surprised. 

Some highlights:

The calm before the storm.

Dress up

I love these customizable paper dolls.  I found them here.

Bubble wrap fun

My helper, washing potatoes.

Jack Frost was here: The Closest We'll Get to a White Christmas

Morning frost in late December

A Possible Solution to the Witching Hour: Toddler-Wearing

As the oldest of four children, I had my share of "second mother" responsibilities-- often self-imposed.  Evelyn loves to be a helper, but I try to be mindful of any added responsibility I give to Evelyn.  I want to be sure that what I request is in line with what she can reasonably do.  Sometimes I need to remember that she is just 3 1/2 years old-- especially in the late afternoons when she is tired. 

When Henry gets fussy in the evening, I occasionally wear him in the Ergo carrier on my back while I cook dinner or finish whatever household task I am working on.  The carrier keeps him from crying at my legs and often calms him down.  I stopped wearing Evelyn  about halfway through my pregnancy with Henry.  I stopped regularly carrying her shortly after Henry's birth, when I realized I was over-taxing my body.  Still, the thought crossed my mind the other night:  what if I offer some "back pack time" to Evelyn?

Ordinarily, if Evelyn is just done with the day, she cries easily and needs some space away from her little brother's grabbing hands.  She plays in her bedroom sometimes, but lately she's been prone to just crying or yelling in the family room.  It upsets Henry and it is very stressful for all us.  I asked if she'd like to come up the Ergo and she calmed down instantly.  I think the novelty of the offer helped.  She loved cuddling against my back.  Henry, however, was jealous and insisted I hold him too.  This didn't do my back (or knees) any favors and at twenty-seven, I'd rather not introduce joint pain.  So, I set Henry down and he fussed a little until I gave him a "big boy" job to do.  All in all, there were fewer tears that evening.  I think I'll put "toddler-wearing" into rotation as a possible afternoon or evening tool, but I'll save it for the major meltdowns.

Every Day is a Good Hair Day!

Loopy curls make up the entire top and back of Henry's head.

Stylish boy with Daddy's curls.