I overheard a couple of mamas chatting today and I really wanted to meander over to interrupt the conversation. I didn't interrupt though, as my coming over to gently correct the misinformation being spewed would have giving away the fact that I was clearly eavesdropping. One of the women swore that popping her newborn off of the breast after five minutes or so was absolutely adequate and she highly recommended it to another new mom. This might work out fine for her as every woman's body is unique. Certainly, as time goes on and the baby grows and is able to nurse more quickly and efficiently, five or ten minutes might be plenty of time. Still, I think that it is dangerous to suggest that mothers place time limits on nursing while breastmilk comprises the majority (or the entirety) of the baby's diet.
Another major consideration is the foremilk and hindmilk balance. If baby only nurses for a few minutes, he might be missing out on the hindmilk. If the baby wants to continue the feeding beyond the first five minutes, by all means, let him! Babies are incredibly adept at eating when they're hungry. I wish every mother would do her own research when it comes to breastfeeding. If we all had accurate information, we might see many more positive nursing experiences.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
On limits
I've come to realize (again-- it seems I have the same epiphany over and over again) that I just cannot be everything to everyone and that it is OK. If I am to maintain some semblance of peace and joy in my life and in my house, I can't say "yes" to every event invitation, volunteer opportunity, or even casual get-together. Sometimes we need a little down-time. Believe me, we often do need some social activities, but lately we've had plenty!
Thankfully, my dear sister was willing to listen to me as I worked through some anxieties and frustrations (Am I the best mother I can be? Am I achieving enough?) I suppose it really doesn't help that, had I followed the graduate school path immediately following college, this year might have been the year I'd look forward to tacking three letters onto my name. My sister helped provide some much-needed outside perspective though. She helped me remember that my babies are only these ages, with these specific (and highly physical) needs for a relatively short time. I don't need to strive for perfection every day. Sometimes contented survival is good enough. And, sometimes good enough really is enough.
There are some fabulous friends I've made in the Pacific Northwest that I haven't been able to see for some time because of the fluctuating newborn-toddler routines and needs. I hope this will begin to change in the coming month or so, as I've been getting a better handle on the routines that best serve the needs of our whole family. I also have a number of projects I've been meaning to complete. I think if I can wrap my head around the word "no"-- as in, "no, I won't be able to help organize this huge event/ host a shindig/ drive an hour and a half with a crying newborn"-- we will all be in better shape.
Thankfully, my dear sister was willing to listen to me as I worked through some anxieties and frustrations (Am I the best mother I can be? Am I achieving enough?) I suppose it really doesn't help that, had I followed the graduate school path immediately following college, this year might have been the year I'd look forward to tacking three letters onto my name. My sister helped provide some much-needed outside perspective though. She helped me remember that my babies are only these ages, with these specific (and highly physical) needs for a relatively short time. I don't need to strive for perfection every day. Sometimes contented survival is good enough. And, sometimes good enough really is enough.
There are some fabulous friends I've made in the Pacific Northwest that I haven't been able to see for some time because of the fluctuating newborn-toddler routines and needs. I hope this will begin to change in the coming month or so, as I've been getting a better handle on the routines that best serve the needs of our whole family. I also have a number of projects I've been meaning to complete. I think if I can wrap my head around the word "no"-- as in, "no, I won't be able to help organize this huge event/ host a shindig/ drive an hour and a half with a crying newborn"-- we will all be in better shape.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Fear itself
Recently, Evelyn has taken an interest in fears (remember Elmo?). She is very much aware of the fact that some people and things can be frightening and she's quite good at expressing this awareness. Evelyn likes to crawl under the dining room table and roar like a lion, asking "Mama, are you scared?" But she's also picking up on more subtle, gut-instinct fears. I am certainly encouraging her to follow her instinct. Last week, Evelyn looked up at me while perusing some books at a local shop and said "Mama, I don't want that man to scare my." There was an older man looking through the stacks and, while I didn't see him so much as glance in our direction, he made Evelyn a little nervous.
Evelyn also had a chance to go on an outing with her aunt and uncle, who visited this past week. It was only her second outing without one of her parents along (the first was during Henry's birth), and she had a wonderful time. My sister, brother-in-law, and Evelyn headed to the aquarium. Evelyn got to see all kinds of colorful fish and starfish. She tried on flippers and poked her head through an octopus cut-out. She was also very quick to tell me, upon returning home, that she saw a shark and it made her very nervous. In fact, we're still talking about that shark-- which, incidentally, was less of real shark and more of a plastic model on the wall. Fortunately, when Evelyn saw it and announced "I'm scary!" (meaning scared), her aunt and uncle scooped her up and they explored other exhibits. We've since discussed that the shark was make-believe, and it was hanging up so that people could see what sharks look like and learn more about them. This seems to have satisfied Evelyn.
Evelyn also had a chance to go on an outing with her aunt and uncle, who visited this past week. It was only her second outing without one of her parents along (the first was during Henry's birth), and she had a wonderful time. My sister, brother-in-law, and Evelyn headed to the aquarium. Evelyn got to see all kinds of colorful fish and starfish. She tried on flippers and poked her head through an octopus cut-out. She was also very quick to tell me, upon returning home, that she saw a shark and it made her very nervous. In fact, we're still talking about that shark-- which, incidentally, was less of real shark and more of a plastic model on the wall. Fortunately, when Evelyn saw it and announced "I'm scary!" (meaning scared), her aunt and uncle scooped her up and they explored other exhibits. We've since discussed that the shark was make-believe, and it was hanging up so that people could see what sharks look like and learn more about them. This seems to have satisfied Evelyn.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
It's in the genes
"Scary! I don't want the red monster to say 'hi' to me!" Evelyn lowered her head, so as to partially disappear, but raised her eyes-- they were fixed on the red monster (Elmo, to Sesame Street grads and fans) who was making his (or her?) rounds at the outdoor plaza on Chris' work campus. There was also a bouncy house set up for kids and so little ones were running around and smiling and taking pictures with Elmo. It was a "Family Friday" event and I brought Evelyn and Henry in to meet Daddy for lunch. We were not having the best morning, so I hoped that this outing might turn things around for us.
Even when we were seated for lunch, Evelyn kept twisting around in her seat to keep her eye on the monster. We explained that there was a person inside of the monster costume and we all observed that the monster looked awfully friendly. We told Evelyn we could just watch from afar and that she did not have to talk to the monster. By the time lunch was over, Evelyn announced that the red monster was "very friendly" and that he was "being friendly and nice to the kids." She still had no interest in taking a closer look and I did not press her on this. As a child, I was terrified of costumed characters. I clung to my parents for dear life when a character passed us at Disneyworld and, instead of running toward the candy-throwing clowns, I kept a very low profile at parades. Maybe "fear of fully costumed people" is a hereditary trait?
Even when we were seated for lunch, Evelyn kept twisting around in her seat to keep her eye on the monster. We explained that there was a person inside of the monster costume and we all observed that the monster looked awfully friendly. We told Evelyn we could just watch from afar and that she did not have to talk to the monster. By the time lunch was over, Evelyn announced that the red monster was "very friendly" and that he was "being friendly and nice to the kids." She still had no interest in taking a closer look and I did not press her on this. As a child, I was terrified of costumed characters. I clung to my parents for dear life when a character passed us at Disneyworld and, instead of running toward the candy-throwing clowns, I kept a very low profile at parades. Maybe "fear of fully costumed people" is a hereditary trait?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Good night
Tonight I had a parent orientation meeting for our toddler group co-op. Since Henry is still in-arms (and since he is a newborn and needs to remain close to his food source!), he came along. I was pretty impressed with his behavior! Neither of us needed a change of shirt-- granted we did have some baby spit-up-- and he was in a pretty lovely mood as he had just finished a nice two (or was it three?) hour nap at home.
I was certainly exhausted during the meeting, but it was nice to get out of the house with just Henry and it was great to see some friends and familiar faces. This year, we will be participating in a family class, meaning that all of the other parent-tot members will have a baby coming along as well. I imagine it will be slightly more chaotic on some levels than last year's class as we'll all have our hands doubly full, but it will be so nice to be surrounded by parents who are in the same position. I think it will also help normalize our family for Evelyn too, though she has actually adjusted (and continues to adjust) really well. I think it was quite lucky for us that we have friends with more than one child and there are quite a few new babies (and babies on the way!) in our Attachment Parenting community.
Toddler group will once again be a great place for our family to play and learn among like-minded families. Though this group does not have a specific affiliation with AP (or API), I've found that families that participate in a co-op setting are families that tend toward gentle discipline, nursing, and cosleeping or night time parenting, though this certainly isn't always the case. It's just nice to know that we have our own ever-extending community.
Anyway, I went off to the meeting with Henry while Chris and Evelyn stayed home for who knows what kind of fun. What I do know is that Chris needed to steam mop the floor twice. Evelyn was already bathed and ready for bed when I got home (and in a fantastic mood), so I think their night was a success too!
I was certainly exhausted during the meeting, but it was nice to get out of the house with just Henry and it was great to see some friends and familiar faces. This year, we will be participating in a family class, meaning that all of the other parent-tot members will have a baby coming along as well. I imagine it will be slightly more chaotic on some levels than last year's class as we'll all have our hands doubly full, but it will be so nice to be surrounded by parents who are in the same position. I think it will also help normalize our family for Evelyn too, though she has actually adjusted (and continues to adjust) really well. I think it was quite lucky for us that we have friends with more than one child and there are quite a few new babies (and babies on the way!) in our Attachment Parenting community.
Toddler group will once again be a great place for our family to play and learn among like-minded families. Though this group does not have a specific affiliation with AP (or API), I've found that families that participate in a co-op setting are families that tend toward gentle discipline, nursing, and cosleeping or night time parenting, though this certainly isn't always the case. It's just nice to know that we have our own ever-extending community.
Anyway, I went off to the meeting with Henry while Chris and Evelyn stayed home for who knows what kind of fun. What I do know is that Chris needed to steam mop the floor twice. Evelyn was already bathed and ready for bed when I got home (and in a fantastic mood), so I think their night was a success too!
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