You're doing it wrong!

I consider myself an attached parent. My husband would say the same, though fathers don't seem to get the same kind of flack for their parenting choices. So, I'll focus on motherhood here. Sometimes I wonder if the best image for motherhood would be a lovely pastoral scene with little flowers here and there. Mother and child walk along peacefully and BAM! -- a flower explodes because Mama Dear unknowingly took a wrong step. Suddenly, Mama's confidence is undermined. To a lesser-- though sometimes greater-- extent, criticisms and inquiries regarding one's parenting choices are much like my flower. Comments are made with "the best of intentions" and wrapped (though not always) in a smile. We are all guilty of sharing unwanted or unsolicited advice. Most of it is probably harmless, and most of it is probably well-meaning. Yet, the reality is, there is a ton of unsolicited advice, waiting to jump from the tips of tongues so as to permeate playgrounds (and classrooms and offices and . . . ).

There are a myriad of (conflicting) opinions. These opinions are especially difficult to tune out when sleep-deprivation is an issue (and if you are a parent of a small child(ren), it's going to be an issue sometimes). Sometimes the voices come from outside the mainstream: Do you practice attachment parenting? You're not wearing your baby often enough! You're not nursing long enough! Do you try your best limit your child's exposure to pesticides, hormones, and antibiotics in food? Why on earth is your kid taking a bite of a "conventional" grape? Co-sleeping? You're not remaining true to the notions of sleep-sharing unless your child implements her own plan for solitary sleep!

If you don't fit the mainstream, there are even more people who are only too glad to tell you what you're doing is wrong. Why is your child still rear-facing in the car seat? You're still nursing? You are delaying vaccines? You're not vaccinating at all? Your kiddo has never had a Happy Meal? Your (insert age here) month-old is not sleeping "through the night?"

Either way, feeling some kind of outside pressure in parenting is an occupational hazard, even when you know you have intentionally come to a decision that is best for your family (and I do think that the whole family should be taken into account, not just the child). I embrace the concepts of Attachment Parenting because I believe that they make the most sense. I do not, however, believe that it is necessary to turn concepts into some kind of holy law that must be obeyed or else my very Motherhood will be repealed. I'll quote Dr. Sears here, "if you resent it, change it!" Attachment Parenting is not martyr parenting. It is responsive, it is thoughtful, and above all, it is respectful. What better way is there to raise respectful, thoughtful children than to model these behaviors for them and treat all people -- friends and strangers alike-- with respect and dignity.