Confessions. Regrets. Worries. I'm tired of lugging them around with me. (Of course, I will not detail anything that could wreak personal havoc on my family or friends, so the real heavies are remaining in the pressure-cooker that is my mind.)
1. I often feel guilty that I am not currently using my degree in a professional capacity. Both of my parents worked (and still work) very hard and as a young child, I watched my mother go to school full-time after my parents divorced. As a result of my own young experiences, I sometimes feel that I am in a vulnerable economic position because I am not earning a salary.
2. I really regret not purchasing a hard copy CD of our wedding website. I worked hard to create the website and it turned out beautifully. Unfortunately, I could barely afford the $60 to register the site to begin with and I could not pay any additional money for the CD. In hindsight, I should have asked my then-fiance as I'm sure he would have been happy to help with that, but I felt that he was already contributing a lot.
3. I had so many emotional responsibilities, unspoken and otherwise, as a kid and as a teenager that I could not wait for the freedom of college. By the time I graduated from college, I had finally found the ability to be my authentic self. This is probably the reason that I hadn't had a true best friend until college. We now live on opposite coasts but I am still so thankful for her friendship.
And, on a lighter note:
4. I totally wanted to jump in them foam pit when I took my toddler to gymnastics drop-in class. It looked like so much fun!
5. When I have an audience of one (Evelyn), I sing and make up silly lyrics and dance moves almost all day long. We both enjoy it, usually. (Sometimes, she looks at me like I am nuts)
6. Why, oh why did I misplace that energy star rebate form for our new washer and dryer???
7. To the tree man who knocked on my door last night, I have no intention of hiring your crew to do our tree work. I just wanted to get you off of my porch.
I fully agree with your first!
ReplyDeleteWhat helps me though is that even with my degree, I wouldn't earn much more than I'd have to pay for childcare. And now with two, I suspect I would actually not even earn enough to pay for it. There's time to work later in life. I only have one opportunity to raise my girls.