Thinking in Public: Style Edition

Fair tresses man's imperial race ensnare,
And beauty draws us with a single hair.
-Alexander Pope

Let's take a giant step back from baby name debacle '10 for a moment.* Today, it is all about hair. It's recently occurred to me that I've had the same hair style for almost a year, give or take some low-lights, and that is probably a record for me. For about the past ten years I've made at least one or two major changes to my hair each year.

I've been a redhead-- a fun idea because red does make blue eyes pop, but not the right color for my skin tone. I've been dark brunette, again, unless the shade is just right, my skin tone completely washes out. I've been very blonde, blonde, dark blonde, and light brown. I've had layered and textured styles, shoulder-length hair with side-swept bangs, and one very pricey chin-length cut which was a monster to grow out: goodbye awkward in-between stage!

I have enjoyed my (almost) natural color and a nice, long length (mid-chest) for a while now. It's time for a change, and I have an appointment with my stylist (she owns a local Aveda salon). I found a stylist I love-- which isn't nearly as easy a task as one would think. I usually just ask for a trim and for some slight shaping of the layers near my face. This week, however, I'm wondering if it might be fun to really make a change. There comes a point where long hair starts to feel style-less. So, what do you think?

Brief walk down memory lane:



Short hair at Mt Rainier in 2007



Hair grazing shoulders (and lighter) just after Evelyn was born.



Current length and style (unfortunately featured in a poorly lit photo)

I think best when I'm writing or talking through an issue, but nothing is coming to me yet. Perhaps I'll submit to this blog for suggestions? I imagine she won't get back to me before tomorrow evening though!


*The baby name security breach has really been a bit of a blessing in disguise. I realized, in my heightened defensiveness of the name in question, just how much I love it.

There's been a breach in security!

Sound the alarms! Well, not really. I might be slightly escalating the level of drama appropriate to the situation. But, given my recent thoughts on keeping baby names on the down-low until birth, I am certainly a bit frustrated with myself. What am I talking about, you wonder?

It all begins with excitement and an innate desire to trust one's confidante. Several months ago, I was chatting with a close family member and mentioned a couple of boy names that I really like. I purposely tossed a couple of names out so that she couldn't say for certain what the name would ultimately be if baby was a boy. Well, baby is a boy and anything remotely resembling priviledged information zooms around my family as though the President's life depended on it. Seriously, I love my family to pieces but secrets, good news, bad news, gossip . . . there is just no such thing as keeping it to oneself.

Of course, in my excitement, I had temporarily lost my senses and forgotten this crucial information. I did ask Mystery Family Member to keep it to herself because we weren't settled on a name and we wanted it to be a surprise. I'm sure that she thought she was keeping it to herself by only telling one other person. Anyway, I blame myself for the fact that, yesterday as we chatted on the phone and I wished him a "Happy Birthday," my Dad was teasing me about naming our son X. I immediately got defensive but let him know that the name was really just one out of a couple of names. The frustrating part for me, though, is that I love that name and now if we incorporate it I'll have my Dad's voice in my head telling me "not to do that to his grandson" (because apparently this name is a punishment). The moral of the story? Never share information with members of my family that you wouldn't want the entire family to know. Lesson learned. Again.

And, for the record, I still love the name X (and no, it isn't really "X").

Snapshot: Evelyn, a few days old

Evelyn was so itty bitty (although at the time, she always seemed big!) It's surreal to think that in a few months, she will be a big sister.

Why, hello baby!

I had an ultrasound scan today (roughly 21.5 weeks along now) at the birth suite in my midwife's office. While Evelyn clomped around in the very room she took her first breath, Chris and I got to peek in on the baby. Baby-on-board is a boy! We are thrilled. We would have been thrilled with another daughter, for the record (I have two sisters and a brother and think that sisters have a really special bond but I also love my younger brother to absolute pieces). It was just exciting to find out a little bit more about this human being who has taken up residence in my body. We can't wait to meet him.

Simple ways to support a new mother

Do you have a new mother in your life?

1. Do not expect an audience with the new mother and baby duo right away. Feel free to drop off a meal, but be understanding if New Daddy greets you at the door and says that the duo is resting.

2. If you are very close to the new mother (ie: family, close friends), take care of daily tasks so that New Mama and New Baby can snuggle up together, nurse, and get to know each other in comfort. These chores include meal preparation, basic household cleaning, laundry, and possibly cleaning a litter box or filling a water dish. The one "non-newborn" task I would leave to the mother is bathing. Please offer her the time to shower or take a nice bath (especially if it is a Sitz herbal bath!)

3. Support New Mama as she and New Baby learn to nurse. (*This is especially important for partners or very close family members who will be spending a lot of time with the new mother and baby) If you are unfamiliar with breastfeeding or if you're just a bit rusty, do some light reading and familiarize yourself with local resources. The early days (and sometimes weeks) of breastfeeding can pose some challenges. This is not the time for passive aggressive "jokes," criticism, or comments about how "easy" it would be offer the baby a bottle of artificial formula-- actually, I'd like to suggest that there is never a good time for any of these things! And, while we're on the topic, please do not pressure New Mama to pump her milk and then hand New Baby over to you for a feeding. Again, the early weeks are precious and mother and baby need to bond and establish a good nursing relationship. Once they have it down, it will be smooth sailing-- nothing to sterilize, nothing to mix, and always the perfect temperature.

4. Encourage New Mama to drink plenty of water. Offer her some nutritious snacks. Labor is a marathon and she will need to replenish her body.

5. Admire that beautiful new baby! Ooh and aah over the tiny hands and precious little toes.

6. If New Mama would like to nap, by all means, help make it happen (use the opportunity to cuddle up with the little one and be prepared to bring him to his mother if he starts "rooting around" for milk).

And let's not leave out the little "icing on the cake" gestures:

7. Put clean, warm sheets on her bed.

8. Bring a bouquet of her favorite flavors to set next her rocker or on the table.

9. Offer to care for New Baby in a few months when things have settled down so that New Mama and New Daddy can go out! (My Mother-In-Law wins the prize for having flown cross-country to visit for a long weekend when Evelyn was about four months old. We were finally ready to step out for a company party. We didn't trust anyone but family and we didn't have any family in the area!)

10. Know that tears are a normal part of the postpartum experience, but gently speak up if you notice that New Mama exhibits signs of PPD.

Things I can't yet announce

Wonderful sleep news in our house. . . I can't say much for fear that we'll regress into sleepless zombies the minute I write about it. I am not superstitious, but I'm not risking a thing.

Our new baby's gender . . . I can't announce this because we don't know yet.

How soon post-baby we'll be ready for visitors . . . friends and family have wonderful intentions and we will be so grateful for help*, but I have no idea when exactly baby is coming (babies are rarely born on the exact "due date") and we will certainly want some calm, recovery time.

Name options for baby-on-board . . . we're not settled on a girl name and we're only partially settled on a boy name. Either way, we are holding off until birth to officially name the babe and we will happily announce the name at that time!

*"Post-baby help" is a topic I have been meaning to write about for a while now and I will get to it hopefully this week! One of the biggest misconceptions, I think, is that all new mothers find it helpful if someone takes the new baby and "lets Mama sleep." This was not very helpful when I had a brand new baby. I just laid in bed and worried about my newborn (or cried, because I was a hormonal new mother!). The real help is playing with the older sibling, cleaning the house, cooking a meal, etc. More on this later. Also, now that Evelyn is 1 1/2, I would GLADLY let someone take her while I sleep. . . wouldn't we all?

Snapshot: My Girl