Simple ways to support a new mother

Do you have a new mother in your life?

1. Do not expect an audience with the new mother and baby duo right away. Feel free to drop off a meal, but be understanding if New Daddy greets you at the door and says that the duo is resting.

2. If you are very close to the new mother (ie: family, close friends), take care of daily tasks so that New Mama and New Baby can snuggle up together, nurse, and get to know each other in comfort. These chores include meal preparation, basic household cleaning, laundry, and possibly cleaning a litter box or filling a water dish. The one "non-newborn" task I would leave to the mother is bathing. Please offer her the time to shower or take a nice bath (especially if it is a Sitz herbal bath!)

3. Support New Mama as she and New Baby learn to nurse. (*This is especially important for partners or very close family members who will be spending a lot of time with the new mother and baby) If you are unfamiliar with breastfeeding or if you're just a bit rusty, do some light reading and familiarize yourself with local resources. The early days (and sometimes weeks) of breastfeeding can pose some challenges. This is not the time for passive aggressive "jokes," criticism, or comments about how "easy" it would be offer the baby a bottle of artificial formula-- actually, I'd like to suggest that there is never a good time for any of these things! And, while we're on the topic, please do not pressure New Mama to pump her milk and then hand New Baby over to you for a feeding. Again, the early weeks are precious and mother and baby need to bond and establish a good nursing relationship. Once they have it down, it will be smooth sailing-- nothing to sterilize, nothing to mix, and always the perfect temperature.

4. Encourage New Mama to drink plenty of water. Offer her some nutritious snacks. Labor is a marathon and she will need to replenish her body.

5. Admire that beautiful new baby! Ooh and aah over the tiny hands and precious little toes.

6. If New Mama would like to nap, by all means, help make it happen (use the opportunity to cuddle up with the little one and be prepared to bring him to his mother if he starts "rooting around" for milk).

And let's not leave out the little "icing on the cake" gestures:

7. Put clean, warm sheets on her bed.

8. Bring a bouquet of her favorite flavors to set next her rocker or on the table.

9. Offer to care for New Baby in a few months when things have settled down so that New Mama and New Daddy can go out! (My Mother-In-Law wins the prize for having flown cross-country to visit for a long weekend when Evelyn was about four months old. We were finally ready to step out for a company party. We didn't trust anyone but family and we didn't have any family in the area!)

10. Know that tears are a normal part of the postpartum experience, but gently speak up if you notice that New Mama exhibits signs of PPD.